How to Deal with Painful or Negative Emotions

Distaste for Photography from Flickr via Wylio
© 2011 Matt P., Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

Everyone feels pain at some point in our lives.  However, how long it lasts is up to us. I just read an article using the Buddha quote:

“Attachment is the root of all suffering.”

I, for one, would completely agree with this statement. What I found is that your attachment to any source of pain or negative feelings such as work, friendship, or any relationship needs to be examined to see what beliefs or fears is keeping you attached to a certain outcome.

For example, say you are attached to getting a promotion at work and are frustrated and unhappy because you don’t have it. Well, you’re literally stopping it from happening with your emotions!

Feeling good is one of the most important things in life. Think of it as your compass. If you are feeling good, then you are connected, going with the flow, and allowing life to happen and good things to come your way.

So to get the ball rolling to get back into that space. First, stop and take a deep breath, hold it for a four count, and slowly release. Repeat three times.

First identify the negative emotions you are having:

  • Irritation/Impatience
  • Doubt/Worry
  • Anxiety/Frustration
  • Blame
  • Anger
  • Hurt
  • Sadness
  • Guilt/Unworthiness
  • Fear/Depression

Think about why the negative thought makes you feel this way:

  • Do you think you are entitled to the job or deserve it?
  • Do you think it will prove that you’re a valuable worker?

Then ask yourself what fear is motivation this conclusion/belief. Why is it so BAD??

  • Do you fear you are not worthy?
  • Do you fear that you are not respected?
  • Do you fear that you are not liked?
  • Do you fear that you are not important?

Make sure you acknowledge all of your fears and negative beliefs that is contributing to your pain.

Next, accept the process and say something like: “I may not like this situation and I accept that I do not like it. I am choosing peace because I trust something larger is at work in this situation.”

Then, surrender to the process and sat: “I may not understand what is going on or have the answers right now, but that’s okay. I am getting myself out of the way as to not escalate the negativity.”

Remember to forgive and love yourself.  I found stating the following very helpful:

“Even though I am (say negative thought/emotion/fear), I deeply love and accept myself completely right now.”

Additionally, I find writing these things down, as well as saying them out loud, very help to pull me out of my funk and change my mood.

Repeat these thoughts like a mantra any time negativity starts to enter your mind!

Lastly, of course, check in on your inner self and see how you are feeling.  Do you feel better? If not, you might want to try some EFT.  It’s a very helpful process for breaking down your negative emotions and freeing you from them.

I sincerely hope these tips are as successful for you as they have been for me. Here’s to seeing you on the happier side, and remember that you are the master of your emotions! :)



1. Mental Body Tools by Lisa Renee, Energetic Synthesis

2. Abraham Hicks Emotional Guidance Chart, Ask and It Is Given by Esther Hicks


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